Kelly's Blog

Today, I sit at our computer, eating my chips and salsa, reflecting on the past year. I spent the morning cleaning which always makes me feel like my brain is a little less cluttered as well and that is a wonderful feeling. A year ago today Steven and I were celebrating our 4 year anniversary. I don’t really remember what we did but I do remember the anxiety and peace that surrounded that time. Anxiety normally comes to me pretty easily so for it to be accompanied by such great peace was God working in my heart in awesome ways. Most prominently I was anxious about the plans that God had for us regarding our sweet girls. We had just returned from a mission trip where we anxiously awaited news on a court hearing they had. No real news came from us. Little did we know at the time that there would be several hearings with no news… frustrating to say the least. Profound peace came knowing that God was going to take care of them no matter if that was with us or another family. They were already his to begin with so who was I to arrogantly assume that our home was the best home for them. He had them and was with them at every step. I just had to be patient and with his plan, thus the anxiety. Months of wondering if it would ever come together and then one day it did and they moved to our home the very next day. Wow, was the overwhelming. In one day we were completely assuming the responsibility of TWO 17 month old girls, who are black. Let me tell you, that is a lot from this weak, selfish, anxious, very white girl to take on. I didn’t feel equipped to take it all on but I do know that God did. So consistently, almost daily, he affirmed this choice and I am so thankful for the blessings that he has given us. One year later, our lives are dramatically different. I don’t wake up to an alarm clock, I wake up to cuddles and kisses. I don’t eat when they aren’t around because my needs really aren’t that important anymore so I forget about them. My house is mess with evidence that children live and play here. My car has a funky smell most of the time that I still can’t quite figure out it’s point of origin. My afternoons are normally filled with Nemo or Newsies while I agonize over their hair hoping that no one will over look and them and say “they for sure have got to have a white Momma”. My evenings are almost nonexistent because being a full-time Momma is a whole new level of tiredness . It is a crazy life but a privileged one where I get watch my favorite person evolve from being a fantastic husband to a fantastic husband AND Daddy. I live such blessed life and today on our five year anniversary, while the house is clean and my sweet babies are sleeping, I get to take a step back and I am still overwhelmed, but this time with His faithfulness.

 Izzy on left, Micah on right.  M is making a weird face but that is what happens when you are 2.  This picture is from their birthday party a couple of weeks ago.  They are officially TWO!

So, it has been almost six weeks since this ole gal retired.  The number one question is “How’s it going?”.  My number one answer, “There have been a couple days where I have wanted to rip their faces off but overall it’s been great”.  It really has been good.  We have gotten into a good routine and I can already see a greater sense of confidence and stability in them.  I feel pretty good about my behavior as far as playing vs. cleaning.  There are for sure times when I say, “I can’t hold you now because ________”, but I think that is totally reasonable.  I have to tell you that I have not been awesome about the sleep schedule for them.  I mean they are getting enough sleep but maybe not at the most traditional time.  Like they have been sleeping in till 9 or 9:30 because we have been out until, well, 9 or 9:30.  Should I feel bad about that?  

As far as how I am personally working myself into this role that is still evolving.  I feel like I am getting “Me” time just in a different way then I was before.  Mostly that is because it always includes staying home.  I covet my “day off” which means Steven’s day off.  I get to sleep in and hand over my responsibilities to him for most of the day and let me tell you, it is glorious!!  I love my girls deeply but there is nothing like driving alone in your car, feeding just yourself at a restaurant, not having to referee their fussing at each other and walking as slow as I want through the mall.  LOVE IT!!  It helps me to recharge and be better for them.  

Monday the 15th of June is supposedly the finalization hearing for our adoption.  I will believe when I see it.   Please keep us in your prayers as this will go smoothly and actually happen on the 15th.  I’m ready to answer the question, “Are they yours?” with confidence and without further explanation.  I want to say “Why yes they are, aren’t they perfect?” as they sling their cups across the table, as if their cups were bowling balls and glasses the pins.    Just perfect

Well, this is a weird thing to announce, for some reason.  I am retired as of last Thursday or more accurately a stay-at-home-Mom.  It’s weird because it was always something that I really wanted to do but never really thought would happen.  Well it has and I must say that I am little freaked out.  Everyone keeps saying, “Are you excited?”  ”You must be so looking forward to this time!”. Don’t get me wrong, I am so excited but honestly I’m a little embarrassed.  The Hovaters are going to be poor, poor, poor but the truth is that we should be able to swing this financially with some discipline and that makes me self-conscious.  It is such a privileged place in our society to be a SAHM and I want to be mindful of those that can’t or don’t want to.  It’s not for everybody and really I may get 6 months into this and decide it’s not for me.  Mom’s of all decisions should be honored for their “Momdum”.  Also, I kind of feel like it’s a club, an exclusive club that Mom’s that don’t stay at home with their kids, or kidless people for that matter, aren’t invited to be a part of.  That makes me sad and also fired up at the same time! I’m sorry that I’m rambling some and maybe even offending someone or two.  That is not my intention, it’s just me processing what this means for me, our family and our girls.  Because I still think it is very important for there to be a ‘me’ beyond a Momma to our sweet girls.  Wow, this is not where I wanted this post to go!  I was planning on speaking about making this time to be about memories and not me shooshing them to go play while I slave away in the kitchen or fold laundry.   I guess we will figure all of that out over time.  I guess that I just want people to know that I while I am so excited to spend every day making memories with my girls, I am also taking this position in our lives with a very heavy heart, realizing the privilege and be so thankful for that while being very thoughtful at the responsibility that I am taking on.  

to go ahead and tackle a beast of a post since it has almost been a year.  Kind of a lot has happened.  Well not kind of, ABSOLUTELY a lot has happened.  The biggest thing is that we have kids now.  Yup, it’s true, kidS.  2 of them and they are fan-freakin-tastic!  I can say that now that they are peacefully sleeping their, hopefully (fingers crossed), 3 hour Sunday nap.   

After 7 long years, Steven and I will be making the trip to Memphis this Saturday for his graduation!! I am so proud of him!! 7 long years of driving back and forth to Memphis at least once a week. For all of those who have driven the stretch from LR to Memphis, you know that that in itself is quite the feat. YUCK! On Saturday he will be receiving his Masters of Divinity. I am just so impressed with him. Besides the fact the I married him I just think that it is a big deal for anyone to have accomplished this goal WHILE having a full time job in YOUTH MINISTRY!! It just amazes me every time I think about it. It wasn’t like he was just taking a class here and a class there. Most semesters it was 9 hours!!! That’s full-time folks! Alright, enough bragging on Steven. I just wanted you guys to share in this joy with us!!

So when we first got married, well I guess it started when we were engaged. I had all these questions about what it would be like and what was I getting myself into by contractionally obligating myself to love somebody for the rest of my life . I felt like through out the whole process both Steven and I were ruthlessly honest and genuine with each other but there was still a small part, well let’s just be honest here, a HUGE part that wondered what the world of marriage would be like for us. Would I find out some deep, dark secret about Steven that, had I know on the front end, would have been a deal breaker? Would I wake up the next morning in a frantic panic wondering if I made the WRONG decision? Would he continue to be my night in shining armor even after that ring was on his finger? Does that wedding really have magical powers that turn wonderful men into abusive, raging alcoholics? I DID NOT want to be the girl that sat on Oprah in my own puddle of tears saying, “He was so wonderful before we got married and then something happened, something changed. I never saw it coming” (yea, right) You guys have heard all the stories, so naturally I was a little nervous.
Today, I am pleasantly proclaiming to the world that Kelly Scheppegrell married a HANDY MAN!!!! Since we have lived in our house, almost 3 years, Steven has continually impressed me. I will admit, that that my previous expectations of a what a nerdy minister could do physically were a little, umm snobby, but I have changed my ways!!! It all started with changing light fixtures. We changed out all light fixtures in our house but 2 and Steven did them all by himself. I remember being apprehensive at first because of the whole “working with electricity and not being an electrician” thing. I kept picturing my sweet husband dead, by electrocution, leaving me alone to not only look at these hideous light fixtures but pay off this huge loan that we just acquired. Little anxious.
You have to know one thing about Steven before you go judging me, thinking that I am a beast of a wife that doesn’t believe in my husband. Steven is RUTHLESSLY confident, almost to a fault. It makes him think “Well of course I can rewire our whole house with my hands while simultaneously building a brand new engine with my toes and grilling a mean steak with my teeth all the while avoiding a house fire, an inevitably broken car and e-coli! Can’t everybody?” It’s aggravating at times, to say the least.
Before we even got married he was asking for tools. “For what?” I said, assuming that he would be the kind of home owner who pays people to do things. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. Now, it almost feels like the more that Steven does the more that I want to buy him tools. Like he has proved his worthiness and this, this nail gun will help him rise to handy man excellence!! He has proved to me that he can tile, plumb, install wood floors and build a new deck! That’s a lot, folks and I am so proud!! I am seeing a miter saw and new piece of furniture in my future. She says as she laughs sinisterly, “Whah, Ah, Ah”.

Yes, folks I am still alive and well. I haven’t gotten a chance to get pictures together and we all know that these things are way more fun with picutres. Pictures and stories to come….

Why isn’t this answer never enough? I just don’t like animals. It’s true and I would die a happy girl if I never have to share my space with an animal of any kind and yes that includes fish. I have had this conversation more times then I have hairs on my head, which really isn’t a ton if you know me but you get my point. It goes something like this…
Animal lover: Kelly, you need a pet.
Animal hater: No I don’t, I’m perfectly happy in my life without a pet.
AL: But they are so cuddly!
AH: They shed like crazy and I am not about to clean dog hair on my chocolate brown couch everyday.
AL: You can get a dog that doesn’t shed?
AH: Those are all ugly. We don’t live the kind of lifestyle that is ideal to own a pet.
AL: What does that mean?
AH: I am not paying somebody to watch my animal when we are gone for the weekend and I am for sure not going to come home during my day JUST to let them relieve themselves.
AL: I really think that you are missing out on a very special companionship.
AH: I am just fine with my current companionship.
AL: Kelly, when you have kids, they are going to poop and pee all over the place.
AH: This is true, but they are humans being which is completely different then animals. I just don’t value animals like I do humans.

Note to the all the animal lovers: I love you I just don’t love your pets. I will be kind to you pets and say very sweetly “hello” to them but I will not pet them and for sure do not want them jumping on me or licking me. Gross.

No excuses folks, just a big fat sorry for checking out for so long.  Let’s see.. not a whole lot is new in the Hovater household.  I am SOOO glad that it is fall and we can finally live like normal people vs. crazy adults that spend every second of their summer either out of town or with 8th graders. 

Here is something to discuss…I, for the past month, have had this nagging feeling that I need some sort of change.  Not a small change like a new hair cut, I feel the need for something significant.  I sort of feel a little stressed having not achieved this desire.  Is that weird?  Normally, I just rearrange furniture in our living room and that settles me down for a while, but I have had a hard time kicking that feeling this time around.   Am the only one who feels this way?  Any advice on how to work through that with out buying a new house every other year? 

I will leave you with some pics of our vacation to the Ocoee River.  So much fun!!  Just sitting around with a good book and great company.  Three cheers for your best friend becoming your sister-in-law!!!

 Do I really have that big of a gut?? I will just tell myself it was the way I was standing.

My silly punkin at the Tennessee Aquarium.  This was our unplanned outing because it was raining like crazy.  Rain+camping=no fun.  Don’t worry it was only for one day and then it was beautiful! 

Whew! Sorry folks for the blog absence and for the lack of pictures on this post. I will do try to do better. Man, this summer has flown! Since May we have gone non stop. We spent a week in Searcy for UPLIFT. Our kids did great! Surprisingly, we were low on the drama which is always a breath of fresh air. During the month of June, a friend from home (Fresno) stayed with us. I say friend because we are friends because our parents are close, but Jordan is only 17. Not that you can’t be friends with a 17 year old, but you know what I mean. Different life stages. I think that she had a great time with our kids. She was sort of Steven’s side kick for that month and handled that responsibility well. Our kids did awesome about including Jordan in most things that they did. It was really good to have her stay with us, except for that fact that she sheds like crazy and I am still vacuuming up blonde hair, 3 weeks later. I hardly have hair at all so I don’t loose much, thank goodness!!
Last weekend another set of my parent’s close friends came to see us. I think that I have talked about Bruce in past posts. He is my Dad’s BFF that was diagnosed with brain cancer almost a year ago. Well Bruce, his wife and her brother were driving across country and Little Rock was on the agenda. I was so thankful for that time spent with the Fain’s but it is always hard to see Bruce struggling like he is. He was having a hard time walking and his speech is slow. He really is doing well considering his circumstances, but it doesn’t make it any easier to see him like this.
Last Saturday, left for his first mission trip of the summer. Juarez, Mexico to work with Casas Por Cristos. It is never fun when he leaves but I have been keeping myself busy with repainting my bathroom and hanging out with friends. He returns home on the 21st then leaves again on the 26th for Nicaragua. He will be gone for 10 days on that trip. He flies back into LR from Nicaragua on a Saturday and then leaves the very next day for a short course in Memphis. YA-UCK! Good news is that this is his last short course during the summer because he will finally be graduating in May 08!!!! I am so proud of him and ready for all this to be done with. Well I guess that is about the extent of our lives since last I posted. This summer has been so good so far. I am really proud of our kids and our interns. I hope all of you are well!!